Do you ever feel like life would be the exact same thing without you here? Do you ever feel like your absence wouldn't make the slightest difference?? I am starting to think that I am absolutely right about this. Not that if I disappear now I wouldn't be missed for a while, but if I had never existed. I sometimes watch those tv programmes where they want to make you believe that there would be a difference but I am now pretty sure that they do that just to make you feel a bit better. Am I right?? I know that if I had never existed I wouldn't have minded it at all, but how about my parents? my brothers? my husband? my friends??
The sad bit of this though isn't that, the saddest thing is that I also believe that if I were to disappear now I would only be missed for a while and then they would find someone/something else to fill that gap in their lives. And that thought makes me sooooo sad.
Maybe a need a cup of hot chocolate and some upbuilding reading, and I know where to find that.
